It Takes a Village of the Damned: By Jimmy Petrol

Enlightened. Progressive. It has come to my attention that there are people in this country, getting set to vote, that have bought the line that unless we elect a firm anti-abortionist, God will never "bless" this country.

No blessing! Dear me; I am very worried....you know, about the blessing America may not get.....good grief....how much more than 75% of the world's fuel does America want to burn? What luxury does America think God may withhold? What more can America want!

I am putting in a call to "God" tonight...I am going to ask "Him" to give this country a good old-time economic depression...if what we have isn't blessed enough, we need less.

In the meantime, a refresher in the Fourteen commandments; if God is checking his list before "blessing" whole nations, it's my guess that he is checking the whole list.

From Exodus: Do not have any other god before me. You shall not make for yourself an idol, whether in the form of anything... (oh-oh....the anti-abortion rally is being televised...and after that I have to watch my favorite shows, since I actually have no life of my own, worshiping the false lives on the ‘telly like I do.)

You shall not bow down to them or worship them; for I the Lord your God am a jealous God, punishing children for the iniquity of parents, to the third and the fourth generation of those who reject me. (Harsh, I know, but then God knows best...so....what happened to our laws? Why don't we have to pay our parent's debts?)

You shall not make wrongful use of the name of the Lord your God, for the Lord will not acquit anyone who misuses his name. (This doesn't say anything about saying goddammit. This says "don't claim to be doing it for God and country when it's just for country. Stupid.)

Remember the Sabbath day and keep it holy. (When was that again? I forget).

For six days you shall labour and do all your work. (Unless you can get you a Mex'can to do it for nothin').

But the seventh day is a Sabbath to the Lord your God; you shall not do any work—you, your son or your daughter, your male or female slave, your livestock, or the alien resident in your towns. (Well, we don't have to keep this one, after all, it is sooo inconvenient when the stores are closed on the Sabbath, whenever that is).

Honor your father and your mother, so that your days may be long in the land that the Lord your God is giving you. (Hi Mom! Hi Dad...oh wait...they aren't waving....hm....oh look! That's them in the congregation! Wait! What are they saying!? Kill the abominations!? Mom! Dad!)

You shall not murder, (even if it is "collateral damage" caused by an unfortunate error in targeting on that cowardly little smart bomb. Even if it is by sending stupid 18 year old boys into battle to get you some oil. )

You shall not commit adultery. (But if your spiritual leaders all do, you must forgive them and continue to follow their lead...'cause this one is just for the little people).

You shall not steal. ( unless your country will suffer a depression unless you have the oil.....or because you already used up all yours...)

You shall not bear false witness against your neighbour, (nor cause anyone else to do so by torturing them until they would say whatever....even if it is just a little white lie about Weapons of Mass Destruction...even if you think it's ok so long as it is just "spin".)

You shall not covet your neighbour's house...or donkey, or anything that belongs to your neighbor. (Or thy neighbor's oil. Oops! Better drive on down to the abortion clinic in my SUV and protest the speck in some poor pagan bitch's eye; it would be too painful to pull this log out of my own ass and start to ride the bus!)

So the sad part is... people are so worried they may not get another blessing, they will vote to keep poor little Mary Lou in Godly shackles, lest she commit a sin, all the while ignoring the facts of torture, theft and lies...why? Because it gets ‘em more "blessings".

What to do? Let ‘em have it...don't fall for the smokescreen....you don't have to be polite with people that find you to be abominations, all while they give tacit approval of torture, murder, theft and lies.