Saturday, May 2, 2009

Sheriff of Pima (Nottingham) Comes out for Interrogation of Little Children: Will Waterboarding Come to Schools? - By Jimmy Petrol

Pima County Sheriff must have notions of running for Red State Senator, this week telling news outlets that he favors asking little kids if they are illegal aliens when they are at school

What this self-righteous bullet-brain fails to recognize is that such a line of questioning, once inveigled against the criminal school-child, will have to be used in turn on public employees.

The questioning of little children may seem just right to the limp-right, but what about asking the officers of the Pima County Sheriff’s office a similar one. After all, organized crime, spousal abuse, racketeering and general lawlessness has been often linked to officers of the law who are secret criminals.

We should find out if any of Pima’s deputies employ an illegal “nanny” or “gardener”. Are all of them paying all the income tax they should....what about the tax due on any bribes accepted?

In addition to the general questioning of deputies, whose denials will amount to criminal acts if found to be inacurate (just as the school-child will be guilty of making false statements), we need to be sure that the Sheriff himself is squeaky clean, especially considering his obvious political ambitions. Are all of his family members drug-free? Is there the remnant of a “joint” under the seat of the family car, left over from the weekend when the Sheriff’s kids borrowed the car to go to the library? Is there an ounce of pot hidden somewhere on the Sheriff’s property that could be used as a legal pretext to seize sail domicile to fatten the S.O.’s coffers?

We won’t be able to be sure that the Sheriff himself and all of his men (and women) are free from criminal association unless we adopt firm questioning standards.

Since the Sheriff is Republican, he will agree that a little waterboarding can go a long way to ensure his officers answer fully and truthfully. After all, the Senate Republicans are nattering away that waterboarding isn’t torture...just good interrogation techniques.

Questioning school-children may be well withing the Sheriff of Nottingham’s ability and even well within the scope of his moral compass (I’ll bet I know where he keeps that compass). But the duty to insure that the Great State of Arizona has nothing but strictly legal deputies should be given over to a citizen’s committee.

I volunteer.

Just be sure I get to question the Sheriff Himself first. It may take a couple hundred drownings (in waterboarding, they drown you into unconsciousness, then revive you. Just a little brain damage, nothing to worry about) but I am sure I can get a confession out of him. He must have done something illegal....the self-serving, self-righteous can justify anything. And usually do.

No comments: