Disenfranchise a Republican, Tell Them the Truth: By Jimmy Petrol

Loud, bombastic and shrill, the followers of Rush Limberger and Georgie "Porgy" Bush have annoyed us with silly science and clever bumper stickers for eight years. Since tolerance is part and parcel of intelligent and forward thinking people, we seldom make use of snide or cutting remarks to make our points; rather we tend to investigate, discuss and discover....

However. This election season offers a true delight; an irresistible opportunity to annoy and disenfranchise a Republican. Palin, as the choice of the "More of the Same McCain" team, is the candy this baby has been waiting for.

Given the fact that she has even less "experience" then I do in matters of government (I once was platoon leader in the Army) and certainly less then the blackish fellow the Dems are running, along with the fact that she is more loud and obnoxious than bright, opens the floor to the ripest sort of repartee.

My Republican friends (I do not discriminate on the basis of intelligence or even lack of moral values) have been having a time of it; happily ignorant of the facts, they have walked one and all into the trap Mr. More of the Same has unwittingly laid for them.

Right upon seeing that the Bushies had opted for a babe to tempt the flock to the polls, I knew we were onto a good thing. Die-hard Republicans, happily chatting along about how well the entertaining Ms. Palin balances the Republican ticket, are easily blind-sided by the facts. Once faced with them, most of my friends have simply vowed not to vote at all...see, it isn't possible for the great unwashed to vote for Chocolate.

My usual course it to simply begin to chuckle as they go on about this "balanced ticket".

If you have never laughed at a Republican, the response may be a little intimidating; they get mad. The idea here is to see this anger for what it is-fear. Seeing this childish display from the generally bombastic and self righteous makes me laugh all the more.

"What?!" they always exclaim, unused as they are to their own medicine. "Oh, nothing," I smile, lying. "You wanted to say something?" they suggest.

I begin easily, "It is just that Palin has the experience of a Girl Scout troop leader....compared to her Obama is an old hand. What kind of Commander in Chief is a Girl Scout Leader?"

They huff, and they puff, but they can't blow that house down. Especially since I am not easily led away from the point. I resist all the bluff about her bright, young thinking.

"Oh, come on." I say, in as condescending a voice as I can muster, "we both know that Palin can't ever be allowed to become president. It would be insanity to have a small town mayor facing down Putin. China will laugh up their sleeves at her. Ah, if only McCain were not so terribly old."

This always does it, if I stick to the point; Palin hasn't even seen Washington on a tour bus. Presidential? Not by Republican standards. No way. Not when we are at war and going to stay there for....what was it McCain said? A hundred years, if we need to?

The scuttlebutt among Republicans if that they won't even bother to go to the polls this year....since only a Republican candidate is worth voting for to them. Not only that, but the ones that can read are fresh from "Obama Nation" (get yours at Costco!)...which I find oddly close to "Abomination"....but who would be so low....oh, yeah I remember now...the Republicans.

My goal this year is to disenfranchise every Republican I know. Just laugh at them and watch them fume. What a joy that the GOP packaged the election so neatly; with the Palin pick, it has become a contest between an unlikely candidate and an impossible one.

Then again, McCain may know all this (is he that smart?)...which leads us to the grand-prize question....who is the speaker of the house? That is the real McCain running mate, the person that would become president when McCain keels over (once he gets a load of Lord Cheney's private army, Blackwater, the good man is likely to go slightly ape-shit and have a stroke). Not Palin. Not unless the republicans think Putin is a paper tiger....news flash, cowboys...Putin ain't no tin-horn megalomaniac from some backward Middle Eastern nation. Watch him kick the U.S. out of Georgia (the one over near Russia, silly...the one with the oil).

The fact that the United States has entered the war in Georgia tells us that The Texan in the White House can't tell the difference. Sarah Palin, all bluster and blow, won't either.

This just in! Russian warships on the way to Cuban waters! U.S. rescinds nuclear treaty with Russia! Bush baits the Great Bear on election eve! How large a conflict can Bush engineer? What cost, America?