Is Anybody Home? - By Jimmy Petrol

I know a lot of people. Not that very many know me, but there it is....the interests of "modern" Americans are pretty much geared towards television and entertainment....the only place I am entertaining is right here.

Everywhere else...I represent work. In fact, lovers have left because I just love to do stuff and am not too fond of being entertained...at least not in conventional ways. What I am getting at is that I am sitting here in Petrol Central, all warm, cozy and clean, with another day's excitement behind me....a day full of work.

While what I do during the day is limited strictly to whatever I want, it all involves work. Some physical, which I revel in as it provides me with a body that can leap tall buildings (or Scandinavians) in a single bound and makes throwing heavy stuff around kind of fun.....and some of what I do is mental. All of it is intriguing and rewarding. All of it is hard.

What puzzles me is this...where are all my playmates?! From the time I played in my sandbox, building imaginary castles to now, when I make whatever I want to, there has been a shortage of playmates. When I said to my peers, still in short pants and mommy's crewcut, "come and dig in the dirt, climb trees and fly to the moon!" they most often said....gotta go....my show is on.

So I am looking. Where are you? And remember...I don't judge...just observe....if you all want to watch tv, eat out and chatter like a band of monkeys about whatever it's fine with me...makes me feel all warm and fuzzy to watch...kind of like puppies, only not so cute.

What I have decided to do is to invite. I have a little extra glass....it is "greenhouse" type glass. For anybody that cares, it is tempered, low iron glass specially made for solar applications. Like greenhouses. I invite two people, or house-holds, or neighborhoods or whatever unit you make up in your quest for a greenhouse to email me. I will give you "enough" glass to get you a greenhouse.

There are, of course, provisos. Provided you have a house, lot or planet of your own to put this on. Provided you are going to grow food. You don't have to eat the food...you can sell it, give it away or eat it; I don't care. The property can be a neighborhood garden plot, provided you can get the "proper" paperwork out of the owner. Provided you are a "working" sort of person (people) who envision putting this thing up either by yourselves or with a little help from your friends (I will be your friend). Provided you sign documents holding me harmless in this endeavor. Provided we agree on how much greenhouse you need.

Obviously, I decide how much glass is "enough". I decide which of you are the first "two" to qualify. If all you want is a little, tiny, tee-pee of glass to run along above your rows of plants, that's fine. In fact, that is probably the best way to qualify...keep it simple. But if you are ambitious, have a track record with ambitious projects...and want to have a big, roomy place to grow lots and lots of really cool vegetables in...well, that's ok to.

Just write me. I have a "little" extra glass that I am not going to use in any current project and I want to use it to lure some of you daring darlings out of your caves and into the sunlight to do a little work. Really. Can little Jimmy come out and play?