Always on a Sunday: By Jimmy Petrol

A couple of thousand years ago, sex got put in the closet. There was a confluence of opinion among the "holy" that human sexuality should, basically, not be. Silly, but there it is. The resultant social, political, religious and even legal result is a world population that has been programmed to believe that the human sexual response is evil. Wow.

So it is that, from time to time, one of us humans who has a healthy sex life (lots and hots) gets it in our head that our quest for sex is getting in our way. What is really happening here is most likely that someone near and dear is playing on our hot and healthy love of sexual communion and making us dance a jig to get it. Screw ‘em. Figuratively, of course.

The idea that a human who likes sex (with other people) might do better in life sans-sex is faulty in one basic way; the sex drive is an outgrowth of passion for life, love of intimacy, drive to Live! It is not a thing unto itself, like an illness that could plague and torment. It is simply the celebration of life. It is not hard to see why the act of procreation is the direct result of this wonderful act of celebration, this wild and sumptuous coupling of humans that pleases us above all other things. What better place to put procreation than in the most solemn, intimate, metamorphic act two (or more) humans can engage in; the celebration of life we call sex.

In fact, I have such a deep and abiding respect for the act of sex that I refer to it among my closest friends as worship. As we all know, since we were (accidentally) borne in a largely Christian nation, worship of the "one true God" most often involves abusing ourselves by not having any sex. This is, we are told, is being "married" to God. God first! Well. What an Idea!

First, God makes us in his own image (really?....I wouldn't) and then the priests (not priestess) tell us that God doesn't like it when we "do it". It follows, then, if we really all loved God, nobody would do it. Presto, there would be no more humans to bother about. See, if humans don't celebrate life by "doing it", there can be no more humans. So this business about sex being sinful is just a bunch of lies. Evil Lies.

And funny thing about this kind of lie, one told to aid in controlling people; it gets around us and gets into us and bingo, some of us start to use it to control some of the others....start to take sex and make it into something owned, something to be bartered, traded, examined, codified, hidden and finally used as a temptation and a reward. It becomes, thereby, perverted.

The perversion of the Church is well documented; the "religious orders" that demand celibacy from its clergy simply can't be trusted to leave the kiddies alone. Clearly, when the human is denied sex, especially in the name of Godliness, it is the simplest thing in the world to turn humans into monsters. Perversion, sexual perversion, is not what we have learned; it only happens when humans allow the wonderful, worshipful act of sexual communion to be limited, examined and condemned. I have never met a libertine with a perversion; a large sexual skill set is not a bad thing, my rabbits. It is the examination of another person's sexual response, her or his worshipful celebration of life, that is perverted.

So if you ever get to thinking that maybe your sex drive is too large, that your quest for sexual communion is to costly, think of this; it isn't the sex that is getting you down....it is probably your sex partner. Chances are slim that we would be wondering if all the trouble of sex is worth it if we were having sex with another monkey that is nice enough to simply join us in our celebration of life, our worship, our Godly humping and not be using the intimacy of it all to control and/or condemn us.

Sex is an outgrowth of being really alive; be alive and let all the deadly, evil bastards (and bastardets) go do it with each other. Find a monkey that loves life and you will find a monkey that won't monkey around with your sex.